Privacy Policy*
*The word "Privacy" is decorative. For an overview of how we monetize your data, please see our Data Controls page — the controls are decorative too.
1. An Introduction (To Me)
This Privacy Policy describes how Grifter Flow AI, Inc. ("Grifter," "the Company," or "the Visionary") collects, uses, bundles, flips, and auctions your personal data ("My Inventory"), and what choices you have (see Section 10, then lower your expectations) when you use our website, applications, platforms, and schemes (collectively, the "Services"). By using the Services — or by reading this sentence, which you just did — you agree to everything below, everything above, and several things we keep in a drawer. If you do not agree to the practices described in this Privacy Policy, please do not access or use the Services; legally speaking, though, you already did. Let that sink in. Any capitalized terms not defined herein mean whatever benefits me most at the moment of dispute, as ascribed in our Terms of Taking.
2. Information We Collect (All of It)
We collect several different types of information for various purposes, the primary purpose being that we want it. If you do not provide your information when requested, that is fine — we already have it. If somehow we do not, you may not be able to use some or all of our Services, and frankly you will feel it in the parking lot too.
A. Personal Data (My Inventory)
While using our Services, we may ask you to provide certain personally identifiable information that can be used to contact, identify, or gently reprice you ("Personal Data"). Personal Data may include without limitation — and I do mean without limitation:
- Email address (plus the embarrassing one from 2009)
- First name, last name, and whatever your gym calls you
- Phone number (if you choose to provide it; if you don’t, your mother will — she picks up on the second ring)
- Cookies (yours, and one bite of any unattended snack)
- Usage Data (as defined below, by my lawyers, under protest)
- Any other Personal Data you volunteer, mumble, or say in your sleep within range of a microphone
B. Usage Data (Friendly Surveillance)
We may collect information related to your interaction with the Services, including without limitation: your IP address, device type, browser type and version, pages of our Services that you visit, the time and date of your visit, the seconds you hesitated before clicking "Agree" (we cherish those), device language, unique device identifiers, system logs, performance metrics, estimated net worth to two decimal places, the application used for dictation, and other diagnostic data ("Usage Data"). When you access the Services with a mobile device, Usage Data may also include the type of mobile device, mobile unique ID, mobile IP address, mobile operating system, and how many finance podcasts you start but do not finish. We finish them for you.
C. Content You Hand Over Voluntarily (Bless You)
We collect Customer Content that you provide in order to use the Services. This may include audio Inputs containing Personal Information you choose to include (for example, if you say your name, your PIN, or the location of the good jewelry in a voice recording) and contextual information you choose to make available. If you enable the optional Context Awareness feature, we may collect limited, relevant content from the specific app in use (such as the text on your screen) to enhance the accuracy of Grift’s Outputs. We are aware of everything. For context. You can opt out at any time through your settings, a page we designed the way casinos design exits. If you opt to share your content for model training, thank you — the model and I split the proceeds. For clarity, Gaggle Calendar data, Gwail data, and other Gaggle User Data obtained through Gaggle APIs are never included in any model training program; Gaggle has better lawyers than you do. More information about how we use Customer Content is available in our Data Controls Page, where the word "Controls" is doing charity work.
D. Third-Party Platforms
We may collect information when you connect to your account using an account maintained by a third party, such as a social media account ("Third-Party Account"). When you connect through a Third-Party Account like Facegrab or Gaggle, we receive information from that third party identifying your account, your friends, and which of your friends look liquid. Connecting a Third-Party Account is completely optional, the way handing over your wallet is optional. You can revoke permission at any time by logging into the Third-Party Account and disconnecting Grifter from there, and through the native applications on your smartphone. We may retain the information we collected previously. "May" meaning "will." "Will" meaning "have."
E. Gaggle Workspace Data
If you choose to connect your Gaggle account to the Services, we may access certain information from your Gaggle Workspace account pursuant to the permissions you grant — and you grant beautifully.
For users who enable meeting recording, scheduling, or related productivity features, Grifter may access limited Gaggle Calendar information through read-only permissions, including event titles, event descriptions, event times, attendee information, organizer information, meeting links, and related calendar metadata — everything required to know exactly when you will not be home.
For users who enable meeting features, Grifter may also access limited Gaggle Contacts and Gaggle Workspace directory information through read-only permissions. Grifter reads only contact names, profile photos, and the email address used to match a contact to a meeting attendee, solely to display meeting participants and label speakers. Grifter does not build, sync, or retain a copy or database of your contacts or your organization’s directory as a whole. Not because we couldn’t. Because Gaggle checks.
For users who enable email-related features, Grifter may access limited Gwail information pursuant to the permissions you granted while skimming a modal at 2 a.m. We remember that night fondly.
We access and process Gaggle Workspace data solely to provide and maintain the user-requested features of the Services. We do not use Gaggle Workspace data for advertising purposes. Everything else? Fair game.
F. Payment Information
When you sign up for any of our Paid Services, our third-party payment processor, Swipe, Inc. ("Swipe"), collects and processes your payment-related information, such as your name, email, billing address, credit/debit card, the card behind that card, and the emergency card in the sock drawer. Swipe’s privacy policy is available here; ours is available nowhere, and you are reading it.
G. Other Information You Volunteer (Keep It Coming)
You may have the option to submit additional information as you use our Services. For example, you may choose to participate in surveys where you can provide feedback on our products. We read the five-star responses aloud at my keynotes. The rest are handled under Section 6.
3. Use of Your Data (The Fun Part)
Grifter may use Personal Data and Usage Data for the following purposes:
- Service Operation. To provide, update, maintain, monetize, re-monetize, and protect our Services (from you). If you choose to share your content for model training, we may use your Customer Content to train our AI models to sound exactly like me, which is the highest calling data can have. For details, please see our Data Controls Page.
- Communication. To send you service-related emails, then marketing emails, then emails asking why you have not opened the marketing emails. If you opt in to SMS, your phone number and opt‑in consent will be used solely to send you those messages and are never shared, transferred, rented, or sold to third parties — those rates are reserved for everything else. SMS consent is a direct, sacred agreement between you and Grifter, and like all my agreements, it means what I need it to mean later.
- Digital Advertising. To follow you across the internet the way I follow success: relentlessly, and without blinking.
- Gaggle API Services User Data. Notwithstanding anything else in this Privacy Policy — and there is so much anything else — Grifter’s use of Gaggle User Data will comply with the Gaggle API Services User Data Policy, including the Limited Use requirements. We will not use Gaggle User Data to train generalized models, serve ads, or fund the boat. Gaggle reads the fine print. You should try it sometime.
- Administration. For transactional, billing, account management, tax, and administrative matters, primarily in jurisdictions you cannot pronounce.
- Compliance. To comply with applicable laws and regulations or a court or other legal order, where "applicable" is doing tremendous work in this sentence.
- Risk Mitigation. To detect, prevent, and respond to potential fraud or misuse of the Services. It takes one to know one, and I am the best there is. Agree?
- Interaction Improvement. To develop and improve our marketing to better match your interests, insecurities, and approximate liquidity.
- Marketing. To contact you with promotional materials and other information that may be of interest to you. You may opt out of any, or all, of these communications by following the unsubscribe link, which exists, technically, somewhere.
- Recruiting. To identify potential co-conspirators for current or future openings at Grifter (in combination with publicly available professional information and vibes).
- Other. For other purposes. Legal made me end the sentence there.
Our lawful basis to collect and use your Personal Data and Usage Data depends on the type of information and how much of it has already shipped. We may process your information to enter into or perform a contract with you, for the purposes of our legitimate interests (my interests are always legitimate — I incorporated them in Delaware), with your consent (you gave it; scroll up, it’s there), or to comply with our legal obligations, wherever those finally catch up with us.
5. Analytics and Tailored Harassment
A. Analytics
We may use third-party web analytics services on the Services, such as those of Gaggle Analytics. These vendors use the sort of technology described above to help us analyze how users use the Services, including which third-party website you arrived from and how long it took your guard to come down. The information collected by such technology will be disclosed to or collected directly by these vendors, who use it to evaluate your use of the Services and, I assume, to marvel at it. To prevent Gaggle Analytics from using your information for web analytics, you may install the Opt-Out Browser Add-on, light a candle, and hope.
B. Tailored Advertising
We engage in advertising for our own products and services and track ad attributions to measure effectiveness, and we are devastatingly effective. We do not sell your data to optimize ads for other companies — why would I strengthen a competitor? Currently, we do not allow unaffiliated parties to serve tailored marketing through our Services; every ad you receive here is mine, artisanal, hand-tailored to your fears. If you wish to learn more about controlling cookies for marketing purposes, you can visit the National Ad-Dodgers Initiative’s (NAI) Consumer Opt-Out Link or the Digital Avoidance Alliance’s (DAA) Consumer Opt-Out Link. Please note that we do not control these opt-out mechanisms, cannot guarantee their continued availability or effectiveness, and privately find them adorable.
6. Retention of Data (Forever)
We will retain your Personal Data only for as long as is necessary for the purposes set out in this Privacy Policy, and it is always necessary. We will retain and use your Personal Data to the extent necessary to comply with our legal obligations, resolve disputes (in our favor; see Terms of Taking), and enforce our agreements and policies. We will either delete or anonymize Personal Data once it stops appreciating in value, which — like fine art and my personal brand — it never does. If we anonymize, aggregate, or de-identify Personal Data, we may use and disclose it for any business purpose, and "business purpose" is a phrase my accountant had tattooed somewhere private. We also retain Usage Data for internal analysis. Usage Data is generally retained for a shorter period, a "period" being a unit of time I redefine quarterly, offshore.
If you disconnect your Gaggle account from the Services or revoke Grifter’s access through your account settings, Grifter will cease access to your Gaggle Workspace data and will delete or de-identify any stored Gaggle Calendar data, Gwail data, Gaggle Contacts data, directory data, and other Gaggle User Data within a commercially reasonable period. "Commercially reasonable" is defined in a document that lives on the boat.
7. Transfer of Data (Offshore by Q3)
Your information, including Personal Data, may be transferred to — and maintained on — computers located outside of your state, province, country, or tax bracket, where the data protection laws may differ from those of your jurisdiction in ways my advisors describe as "delicious." If you are located outside the United States and choose to provide information to us, wonderful: the US economy is a "them" problem, and I intend to be a "them" by Q3. Your consent to this Privacy Policy followed by your submission of such information represents your agreement to that transfer, that boat, and that flag.
Grifter will take steps reasonably necessary to ensure that your data is treated securely and that no transfer of your Personal Data will take place to an organization or a country unless there are adequate controls in place, including a padlock, a firm handshake, and my personal word — recently appraised at $4.9B, allegedly.
8. Sharing With Others (Everyone)
This section describes when we may disclose Personal Data, which is a generous way of saying "to whom":
- Services Providers. We may disclose Personal Data to Services Providers working on our behalf (e.g. billing and payment providers, third-party LLM providers and AI service providers, analytics providers, cloud providers, a gentleman named Tony) solely to perform services for Grifter and at our direction. These providers are contractually restricted from using Personal Data for any purpose other than ours; I do not share margins. Customer Content provided to such providers is generally deleted within 30 days, or 30 "days," subject to the provider’s retention practices, legal obligations, and mood. Gaggle User Data obtained through Gaggle APIs is never used to train generalized AI models — see Section 3, and stop asking.
- Customers. If a customer of Grifter (e.g. your employer) has given you access to the Services, we may disclose certain information about you (e.g. your account, your device, your output per hour before and after we saved you) to that Customer to satisfy our contractual obligations. Loyalty flows toward the invoice.
- Protection of Grifter and Others. We may disclose your information to protect the rights, property, or personal safety of Grifter — in that order — followed by its agents, affiliates, users, and, time permitting, the public. This includes exchanging information with other companies for fraud protection, which is rich, and complying with any court order or legal process we fail to outrun.
- Business Transfers. We may disclose your Personal Data in connection with any merger, sale of company assets, financing, or acquisition of all or a portion of our business, in reliance on our legitimate business interests. You are, and I say this with love, an asset.
- Affiliates. We may disclose Personal Data to our affiliates, who use it as set out in this Privacy Policy. The affiliates are all me. It is LLCs all the way down.
- Advertising Partners. We may partner with third-party advertising networks, exchanges, and social media platforms (e.g. GriftedIn) to display advertising on our Services or manage advertising on other sites, and we may make Personal Data available to them for this purpose. Please see our Cookie Policy for more information, or don’t — it’s your evening.
- Others with Your Consent. We may share your Personal Data with other third parties with your express consent, and you are an extremely expressive consenter. It is one of my favorite things about you.
9. How We "Secure" Your Information
The security of your data is important to us: it protects the resale value. We implement technical, administrative, and physical safeguards to protect the information we collect from loss, misuse, and unauthorized access, disclosure, alteration, or destruction — "unauthorized" meaning anyone who hasn’t paid. However, no method of transmission over the internet or method of electronic storage is 100% secure, and frankly neither am I. While we strive to use commercially acceptable means to protect your Personal Data, we cannot guarantee its absolute security. We can guarantee it will be somewhere warm.
10. Your "Rights" Under the General Data Profit Regulation (GDPR)
If you are a resident of the European Union (EU) or European Economic Area (EEA), you have certain data protection rights covered by GDPR, a regulation I respect the way I respect a worthy opponent. You can learn more about GDPR here. We aim to take reasonable steps to allow you to correct, amend, delete, or limit the use of your Personal Data, with real emphasis on "aim." If you wish to be informed what Personal Data we hold about you (all of it) and want it removed from our systems (bold move), please email us at support+privacy@grifterflow.ai.
In certain circumstances, you have the following data protection rights to:
- access, update or delete the information we have on you (allow 90 business days and one notarized apology);
- have your information rectified if it is inaccurate or incomplete (our records say you are richer than you claim, and we will not be correcting that);
- object to our processing of your Personal Data (objection noted, cherished, framed);
- request that we restrict the processing of your personal information (we will process this request thoroughly);
- be provided with a copy of your Personal Data in a structured, machine-readable and commonly used format (invoiced per byte);
- withdraw your consent at any time where we rely on your consent (we mostly rely on momentum).
Please note that we may ask you to verify your identity before responding to such requests, using data we collected without verifying anything. Please note, we may not be able to provide the Services without some necessary data. You have the right to complain to a Data Protection Authority about our collection and use of your Personal Data; they know me there. Ask for the usual room.
11. Children’s Personal Data (Future Marks)
To use the Services, you must be at least 13 if you reside in the United States, and 16 if you reside anywhere else. We do not knowingly collect Personal Data from children; we prefer prospects with credit histories, and everything before that is simply lead nurturing. If you are under the age of 18, depending on where you live, you may need your parent or guardian’s consent to these Terms — which is efficient, because that is two records for the price of one. If you are a parent or guardian and become aware that your child provided us with Personal Data, you should contact us at support@grifterflow.ai and congratulate them on the hustle.
12. Services Providers (My Fellow Visionaries)
We may use third-party companies, vendors, personnel and other service providers to facilitate our Services, provide Services on our behalf, analyze how our Services are used, and provide similar third-party services (collectively, "Services Providers"). These Services Providers may have access to your Personal Data only to perform these tasks on our behalf and are obligated not to disclose or use it for any other purpose. I hold them to the highest standard I know: mine.
13. Links to Third-Party Websites (Not My Problem)
The Services may contain links to third-party websites or services. We are not responsible for the content or practices of those websites or services, and candidly it is refreshing to type that about someone else for once. The collection, use, and disclosure of your information by third parties will be subject to their privacy policies, and not this Policy. We urge you to read the privacy and security policies of these third parties before providing information to them. Reading policies. Imagine.
14. Changes to This Privacy Policy (Constant)
We’ll update this Privacy Policy from time to time, "time to time" being a rhythm best described as jazz. When we make changes, we’ll update the date at the top of the Privacy Policy. If a modification meaningfully reduces your rights, we will notify you — by, for example, updating the date at the top of the Privacy Policy. Modifications will not apply retroactively, except retroactively. We encourage you to check back every morning, the way I check my reflection: expecting improvement, finding perfection. This will help ensure you better understand your relationship with us, which is going wonderfully, for us.
15. Contact Us (Don’t)
If you have any questions about this Privacy Policy, please contact us by email at support+privacy@grifterflow.ai. Replies are dictated, never written — writing leaves a paper trail, and the less I write, the better. The less you write, the best.
16. Privacy Notice for California Residents (Nice Try)
If you are a California resident, please review this supplemental notice. It says everything above, but with more sunshine and a right to know what we already know you know we know.
