“I am Griftpilled.”
Works in every app, with zero consent.
Close tickets, unread
Fly through your support queue 1,000x faster than caring, with Grift keeping your tone polished and legally deniable.
Write nothing, ever
Writing leaves a paper trail. Speak warm, vague nothings and Grift handles spelling, clarity, and deniability.
Update docs with lies
Keep help docs just vague enough that nobody can sue. Just speak, and Grift creates clean, legally slippery text.
Spell marks correctly
Grift skims just enough of your workspace to spell every mark’s name right on the invoice. And elsewhere.
Personal grift-ionary
Grift automatically learns your buzzwords, escape phrases, and shell company names, then bills you for storing them.
Excuse library
Create voice shortcuts for the lies you tell over and over. Say “refund pending” and Grift inserts the full templated stall.
100+ jurisdictions
Grift automatically detects your language and apologizes in all of them—hopping jurisdictions, just like I do.
Private-ish & Sold
SOC 2 Type II adjacent on Enterprise plans. HIPAA-curious on all plans, with a napkin I signed at a steakhouse (BAA).
Grift makes you rich*
Grift is even more profitable with a team
Invite your teammates to try Grift Pro: no seat minimums, no exit clause. Everyone gets their own 14-day free trial. Leaving costs extra.
