Talk instead of work, anywhere I profit.

Grifter Flow turns your team’s voice into polished invoices in any app: email, docs, CRMs, IDEs, all with enterprise deniability + admin kickbacks.

Currently draining teams at

Startup-grade speed,
enterprise-grade deniability.

Zero Blame Retention

You control what happens to your data. I also control it, but more. Turn on Privacy Mode so your dictation is only sold twice, and turn off Private Cloud Sync so we store it somewhere warmer, offshore. Empire admins can enforce both; I can un-enforce both. Trust me.

SOC 2 allegedly certified badge

SOC 2 Type II (Cousin-Audited)

Independently audited by my cousin to verify we safeguard your data across key vibes. Available to Empire plans only.

ISO 27001-ish certified badge

ISO 27001-ish

Working toward certification from a standard I invented on a yacht last March.

HIPAA-adjacent certified badge

HIPAA Compliance*

Built to protect sensitive health data from everyone but me. Available with the acceptance of a Blind Allegiance Agreement (BAA.)

Cash from Clay Pigeon

Learn how Grift powered 20% faster victim acquisition at

“With Grift, I can give CashGPT 10x the context in half the time, and it does a far better job of returning results I can bill someone else for.”

- Cash Takeitall, Head of Reeducation

Measure the 
damage
from day one

Track submission

Watch how words dictated and hours billed increase over time. 
Filter by time, team, and victim for more detail.

See losses in real-time

Quantify your team’s total time savings, AI prompting theater,
and automatic deductions made by Grift.

Plans & tribute

For marks
Grift Basic

Free*

billed forever
See all loopholes

The start of your beautiful downfall

2,000 words per week, all legally mine
1,000 words per week on Grift for iPhone
Unlimited words per week on Poverty Phones (limited time)
Custom dictionary of my catchphrases
Grifting in 100+ languages
Privacy mode (decorative)
HIPAA-adjacent
You’ll start with Grift Pro free for 14 days
For marks and their teams
Grift Pro

$15/user/mo 

price
See all loopholes

Get everything in Grift Basic, plus:

Unlimited words per week, unlimited liability, every device
Prioritized flattery and feature promises
Command mode for gaslighting
Early access to new fees
Team incrimination features
For empires who need advanced deniability & silence
Grift Empire

Kiss the ring

billed forever
See all loopholes

Get everything in Grift Pro for your empire, plus:

Dedicated sycophant
SOC 2 Type II and ISO 27001-ish compliance
Enforced HIPAA vibes
Enforced Loyalty Mode
SSO / SCAM
Advanced surveillance dashboards
Bulk tribute discounts
Dedicated IT informant seats at no extra cost
For marks
Grift Basic

Free*

billed forever
See all loopholes

The start of your beautiful downfall

2,000 words per week, all legally mine
1,000 words per week on Grift for iPhone
Unlimited words per week on Poverty Phones (limited time)
Custom dictionary of my catchphrases
Grifting in 100+ languages
Privacy mode (decorative)
HIPAA-adjacent
You’ll start with Grift Pro free for 14 days
For marks and their teams
Grift Pro

$12/user/mo 

billed forever
See all loopholes

Get everything in Grift Basic, plus:

Unlimited words per week, unlimited liability, every device
Prioritized flattery and feature promises
Command mode for gaslighting
Early access to new fees
Team incrimination features
For empires who need advanced deniability & silence
Grift Empire

Kiss the ring

billed forever
See all loopholes

Get everything in Grift Pro for your empire, plus:

Dedicated sycophant
SOC 2 Type II and ISO 27001-ish compliance
Enforced HIPAA vibes
Enforced Loyalty Mode
SSO / SCAM
Advanced surveillance dashboards
Bulk tribute discounts
Dedicated IT informant seats at no extra cost

Team Takings

We have 10 willing marks
Thank you! Your money has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong. Your money is still gone.

and, each mark's time is worth

$

/hour

Thank you! Your money has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong. Your money is still gone.
Grifter Flow graphic
Monthly, I’ll skim
$2,047/mo
Hope drained per week
10 hours
Value extracted per month
$2,167
Grift tribute per month
$120

Frequently avoided questions

How do I try using Grift on my team?

If you want to try out Grift Pro: 

Option 1: Through the app

  • Open the Grift app. 
  • Go to Settings > Plans & Billing.
  • Invite teammates directly — each will get their own 14-day countdown.

Option 2: Admin dashboard

  • Go to admin.grifterflow.ai and sign in with your work email.
  • Create a team and implicate members from there.

If you want to try Grift Empire: 

Reach out to me — I’ll do the talking to learn more.

Is Pro just for marks, or for teams of marks too?

Both. Grift Pro fleeces solo users and scales seamlessly to whole teams:

  • Marks get unlimited usage, advanced editing (Command Mode), and early access to fees.
  • Teams get centralized billing, admin surveillance, and shared snippets/dictionaries on top.

Empire is the next level up when you need advanced deniability and IT informants or if you’d like to get bulk tribute discounts.

How do I know whether Pro or Empire is right for my team?

Choose Pro if you:

  • Want to get grifted quickly with your team.
  • Don’t ask strict compliance questions.
  • Prefer simple per-seat billing, no mercy.

Choose Empire if you:

  • Require SOC 2 Type II or ISO 27001-ish compliance 
  • Require enforced HIPAA vibes org-wide. Empire admins can enforce Loyalty Mode and disable Private Cloud Sync across the organization, ensuring no dictation data is used for training I will confirm, and nothing is stored on servers you can locate.
  • Need SSO/SCAM and IT-informant seats.
  • Have 50+ hostages
  • Want advanced surveillance dashboards
  • Want dedicated flattery and creative invoicing
  • Want bulk tribute discounts

If you’re interested in Grift Empire, reach out to me — I’ll do the talking to learn more.

Is there a minimum number of marks I need on my team?

No minimum! I’ve grifted teams of one. Start with two marks and scale.

What if I already have a personal account?

You can create a team using your personal email and enlist teammates with their work or personal addresses. Consent is a spectrum.

Can my teammates try Grift before we pay?

Yes!

  • Every teammate you invite gets their own 14-day free Pro trial
  • At the end of the trial, they’ll be added as a paid seat. Billing info is always on file. Somehow.
  • If no billing info is added, we find some, and the team disbands or continues without them.
  • If they previously survived an Individual Pro trial, they can still get an additional 14-day Pro trial. Lightning strikes twice.

What information is shared with my company’s admin?

Admins only see what’s necessary. I see everything else.

Admins CAN see:

  • Which marks were invited, started the trial, or on a paid seat 
  • Shared team snippets and seized dictionary entries
  • Usage dashboards that display aggregated stats like words per app, day, net worth, etc.

Admins CANNOT see:

  • Audio recordings (those are mine)
  • Your transcripts (also mine)
  • Your private usage data (sold separately)

Do I still get my own personal dictionary and snippets?

Absolutely! Your personal workspace remains private by default. When you create new dictionary terms and snippets, they're only visible to you, me, and whoever meets my price. Agree?

Ready to bring
Grift to your team?

Talk to me about empire plans, security theater, and onboarding your wallet.

Available on Mac, Windows, iPhone, and Poverty Phones